Humans are beings of love and emotions. Children's psycho-emotional needs have to be nurtured.
In the context of human development and growth, it is not enough to have our basic needs met. What all parents need to provide to their children are emotional safety and unconditional love. Unfortunately, the socio-cultural traditions we follow are not attuned to the psycho-emotional needs of children. Parents need to go to work, and usually both of whom are working.
Yet children need the healthy attachment to either or both parents, and usually from the mother. Consider this: in the hundreds of thousands of years of of human existence, across radically different environments, parents were never far from their children.
This is the primary reason why the ancient tribal people didn’t have “identity crises” - a psycho-social phenomenon that was only observed beginning with the industrial revolution. In addition, the concepts of “isolation” and anomie all began when the socio-economic lifestyle of humans radically departed from tribal, village-based economic activities.
Even the concepts of mental and personality disorders, "troubled youths with anti-social behavior," pervasive mood disorders, and increasing rate of suicide, are phenomena that accompanied the ever accelerating “separation” of family togetherness due to the socio-economic and cultural forces that take parents away from the daily lives of their children.
Thus, parents, consciously and unconsciously, rely on schools and their teachers to provide the emotional support that children need. But the demands for “performance” pressure the teachers to focus more on skills improvement and "standardized tests" than nurturing the psycho-emotional development of children.
So, many children turn to other children for emotional nourishment. Children parenting themselves. Then some of them meet bullies, who are also product of dysfunctional family dynamics.
Thus, here we all are, having to deal with the psychological deficiencies met by many children across the world. Worse is when some of these children were, and are, physically and sexually abused – which increase their chances of committing suicide by more than ten times the national rate. Thus, we exhort parents and schools to re-focus their attention from academic achievement to the nurturance of the psycho-emotional needs of children. For children who feel acceptance, love, and belongingness, will surely want to know more and study more.
Because humans are naturally curious, and our default programming is to be autonomous and competent. We cannot totally prevent children from experiencing psychological challenges in life; but we surely can minimize it and help make them become responsible, caring, and capable citizens of this world. By attending to their psycho-emotional needs as much as you, we, can.
It really takes a village to raise a child.
May you be a part of those who create villages of love and belongingness.
_____
artwork: Night Garden by Richard Faust
About the author
Emmanuel F. Silan, PhD, RPsy
Other Articles
Emergence of the Hidden Light
The core traits of our personality, to a large extent, is basically our defense mechanism.
Read moreThe Spiritual Nature of the Filipino Psyche
May the gods smile upon your journey wherever your path brings you.
Read moreAngels at the Crossroads
At a certain point in our lives, we have always arrived at our crossroads.
Read moreKaleidoscope Life
Emotions are the booster for behavioral changes. Cognition and language fortify these changes.
Read moreBeings of Love and Emotions
Humans are beings of love and emotions. Children's psycho-emotional needs have to be nurtured.
Read moreMy Search for Happiness
Isn’t it time to turn all those past memories and future experiences into your happy trails!
Read moreTheir Finest Hour
If you are reading this, then the choice you made in your darkest hours was to survive.
Read moreFree Will (Fact or Fiction)
Law of Attraction essentially says that which you truly believe is what you are attracted to and by.
Read moreIdentity Independence vs. Unhealthy Emotional Fusion
Have COURAGE to break the toxic psycho-emotional chain & FAITH to forge a soul-nurturing one
Read moreNarcissism, Mental Health, and NLP
Understand that individuals see the world differently,their map of the world is different from yours
Read moreManaging Psycho-Emotional Stress
Stressors are part of our life and it's up to us how to manage them well!
Read moreAXIOS!
Embracing your pain while helping others is a life worthy of who you are.
Read moreOur Love for Psycho-Dramas
Psycho-dramas are defense mechanisms for psycho-emotional issues.
Read moreBroken Road to Redemption
Broken roads offer wonders, mysteries, and terrors. Walking through them is being forged in fire.
Read moreWe Are Naturally Irrational: And Why Using a Blaming Tone Won’t Win “Them” Over to “Your” Side
People are naturally irrational, and most of these beliefs revolve around self-identity issues.
Read moreMarriage Constitution: An Operating Manual
Love and management of expectations: A Marriage Constitution
Read moreBreak the Habit of Fault-finding and Blaming
We can re-program our mind and liberate ourselves from negative beliefs to life-enhancing ones.
Read moreFour Kinds of Leaders
Transformative leaders always choose to see the best in the people and the organization.
Read moreLove in the Eternal Now
Love is that part of your soul, finding the gentle heartbeat of another - across space, beyond time.
Read moreFaith in Humanity
In our heart of hearts, we strive to do what is right; we don't have hearts full of darkness.
Read moreSelf-Awareness and the Unconscious Mind
Self-awareness and reflection leads to the unleashing of the power of the unconscious mind.
Read morePhilippine Culture Through the Eyes of an American Expat
Viewing with a different lens the Filipino culture of the "here-and-now" and the joy it brings.
Read moreEmotion and Identity
There's an inverse relationship between self-esteem, or positive self-regard, and insecurity.
Read moreHealing Pain and Suffering
Filling the heart-mind-spirit of life-giving thougths and emotions will heal pain and suffering.
Read moreStructure of Pain and Suffering
Thoughts and beliefs that are not aligned to the purpose of God for us result in pain and suffering.
Read moreKey Drivers of Pain and Suffering
The three drivers of pain and suffering: existential fear, obligations of love, ambitions of pride.
Read moreThe Nature of Pain and Suffering
Pain and suffering happen when we are not aligned with our nature and purpose
Read moreNLP MANILA CERTIFICATION COURSES 2016-2017
NLP Manila Certification Course 2016-2017
Read moreWords Make Worlds
In all of us reside the warrior of the light and the serpent of discord, and they manifest themselve
Read moreThe Sacred Burial Ground
The sacred burial ground is in all those places where our true heroes – the freedom fighters...
Read moreHeart of Darkness and of Light
There is a war raging in the world, and it is a war not of religion, but of the human soul: a war...
Read moreHope and Influence
Love may go, friendships can fade, dreams may vanish, but once you lose HOPE, the world fades...
Read moreHEROES AND DREAMS
Heroes are those who pursue their dreams…regardless of how difficult or long, or painful, or...
Read more