February 3, 2021
Emmanuel F. Silan, PhD
Embracing your pain while helping others is a life worthy of who you are.

To friends, colleagues, and clients – and your own circle of family and friends - who are undergoing personal and relational challenges. Remember this: You Are Worthy.

I hope you will stop the blame and asking why it is happening to you. There may be reasons, but in the end, blaming will not help you. Blaming others, blaming circumstances, blaming yourselves, rightfully or not, will only prolong your agony. Blaming anchors us to the past. It prevents us from moving forward; in dealing with the here and now so that our tomorrows can be better.

And here is a set of suggestions that you may want to act on:

Transform pain into a path for growth. Nurture self-love. Stop blaming yourself too!  You are a child of the stars, child of the gods. Therefore, you have the seed and the unrealized strength within you to overcome your doubts, challenges, lack of self-esteem, emotional pain, and sense of deep loss.

These are painful things, and you can use them to make yourself emotionally and mentally stronger. Difficult, painful, doable. Cry if you must, repeatedly, until the tears run dry. Then take the first tentative steps of self-healing, and among them is loving one’s self.

Another is preparing your soul for the long struggle. Contrary to common advises, abandon your hope, now. When you hit rock-bottom, you will find out that even in that pit of misery, you can still function, somehow.

When all hope for the original desire is gone, find another reason for living, for being. Then move. Focus on that one thing. Have courage, for you have nothing else to lose now, so why not give this new reason for living a chance to grow? What if it works? It may act like a candlelight in the darkness of your night.

You deserve to be happy, or at least to find a deep sense of joy in the struggle, especially if your reason for living is to help and serve others. Use your desperation to propel you to action! Tell yourself, “just one more step, one more day, one more night.” Remember your hidden strength, one that will only come out when you have reached the pit of your despair. For you are the child of the stars, the child of the gods.  

You are worthy – to live, to love, to experience pain and struggle, to learn and overcome, to be the light and guiding star for others. Tell yourself repeatedly, and shout at the top of your broken voice: Axios!

May your struggle be worthy enough for a child of the stars. And may the fates smile upon you now and all your tomorrows.

About the author

Emmanuel F. Silan, PhD

NLP Coach and Counselor/ Human Behavior and Communications Specialist/ NLP Master Trainer (IN) and Coaching Master Trainer (ICI) / Organization Development Consultant/ Highly Experienced Team Building Facilitator/ Certified NLP Instructor and Master Practitioner/ has MA in Instruction Development and Technology/ PhD in Organization Development/ and currently taking Master in Counseling Psychology at  Ateneo de Manila University.