Emotion and Identity

February 14, 2017
Emmanuel F. Silan, PhD
There's an inverse relationship between self-esteem, or positive self-regard, and insecurity.

There's an inverse relationship between self-esteem - or positive self-regard, which usually comes from a sense of identity - and insecurity.

The higher the level of positive self-regard, the lower the level of insecurity. Regardless of one's status in life - manager, rich businessman, honors student, good-looking person and so on - self-esteem or positive self-regard comes into play.

Beauty and success and high social status do not necessarily give a person a high level of self-esteem or positive self-regard.

Knowing one's identity and being happy with it does not naturally come from social and personal achievements; it comes with a deeper sense of self-awareness, of acceptance, of having a grateful heart (as compared to a heart full of envy). It is one of the major reasons why many seemingly "made" people are still unhappy with their lives leading others to end their own lives prematurely. It is also the reason why seemingly "poor" people are contented with their lives.

It is the reason why some people - employees, supervisors, managers, students, teachers, common people, and even leaders - become verbal bullies and act in seemingly demeaning manner; not out of pure wickedness but simply because they have attached their identity with their position in life. Any negative feedback about their work or manner of behavior is seen as an "attack" on their person-hood, and is thus met with aggression.

Insecure people have dark shadows within them; the psychologically healthy ones allowed the light to reach their souls.

Acceptance of self - who we were, who we are, and who we can be more of - leads to genuine maturity and to serenity. This road is full of challenges and dark shadows but it is a road worthy of who you are - for you will see the god within you near its end.

About the author

Emmanuel F. Silan, PhD

NLP Coach and Counselor/ Human Behavior and Communications Specialist/ NLP-Based Training-Seminar Facilitator/ Organization Development Consultant/ Highly Experienced Team Building Facilitator/ Certified NLP Instructor and Master Practitioner/ has MA in Instruction Development and Technology/ PhD in Organization Development/ and currently taking MA in Psychology in Ateneo de Manila University.