Hope and Influence

May 20, 2016
Emmanuel F. Silan, PhD
Love may go, friendships can fade, dreams may vanish, but once you lose HOPE, the world fades...

‍We must understand human nature – why we think and behave the way we do – when we want to motivate and positively influence others.

Allow me to share some lessons I learned from years of facilitating training seminars and workshops on leadership and transformation, and other “soft skills” training programs. These engagements included dealing with leaders – from the young to the most senior ones – from both private and public organizations and from different walks of life.

BE GENTLE (or at least handle with care) when you are dealing with a person’s sense of IDENTITY. This is where conflict usually originates when not done properly.

Most often, a person’s sense of identity is also projected to a person he or she idolizes, or chooses to represent his/her wishes and dreams. This is particularly true during elections, and most so with those who idolize personalities in the movie and sporting world. In such cases, a person’s identity gets tied to his or her candidate or idol.

Thus, an attack on that candidate, or on one’s idol, in whatever form, is also – unfortunately – seen or felt as an attack on one’s self.

Love may go, friendships can fade, dreams may vanish, but once you lose HOPE, the world ends for you. Hope is what keeps people endure everyday hardships and personal tragedies.

If you have to: enlighten people, debate with them, but in the end, give them hope – or don’t take it all away.

HOPE IS THE REASON people still vote despite knowing that they’d be fooled again – most probably – by many of the politicos. Hope is the reason people wake up and go to work, or try again, or even do something different. It is the hope that this time, things may change for the better. Imagine what would happen if hope, however slim the chances of becoming, is taken away from them.

AVOID calling and branding people names. Especially during election times, the moment you call people dumb, idiot, or unthinking, or showing that you are better (more decent and educated) than them, you’ve lost them – totally.

This is true for all the people supporting different candidates. You may have won the “debate,” but if you call them names, directly or by insinuation, you’ve already lost them. More so when some diehard supporters wish ill for others.  

BE HUMAN. We all have our own faults and sins, and we have our nobility too – the  desire to be better, to overcome adversities, to embark on heroic goals. Point out the behavior, not the person. Give observations, not judgment. Remember the story of “casting the first stone…”PRAY. For you, them, us. For our Country. Ora Pro Nobis.

About the author

Emmanuel F. Silan, PhD

NLP Coach and Counselor/ Human Behavior and Communications Specialist/ NLP Master Trainer (IN) and Coaching Master Trainer (ICI) / Organization Development Consultant/ Highly Experienced Team Building Facilitator/ Certified NLP Instructor and Master Practitioner/ has MA in Instruction Development and Technology/ PhD in Organization Development/ and currently taking Master in Counseling Psychology at  Ateneo de Manila University.